Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Thanks to you!

Thank you to all who posted a comment on my problem with Mckenna's inner anxiety issue. I thought I would update you on her progress. First things first; what I learned. The first thing that I have learned is that when young children are having turmoils (unless it is abuse) it happens to be a spin off of the parents emotions. For the past three months I have been experiencing an overload of emotion, anxiety and stress. I thought I was hiding this fact very well, but alas, my children picked up on it and experienced their own similar emotions. The second thing I learned was that when we think children don't understand what is going on; we are wrong. Children are very smart and they either learn how to take advantage of you or they display an outward showing of fear hidden as an action. (ex. hiding things, overeating, etc.) I came to this realization (with some help) 2 Sundays before we moved. I was overtired, I was on the brink of a major breakdown and I (sadly to say) was not a very good mom. I was trying to cope myself and was not realizing that my children were hurting too. I cry just thinking about what I had been reduced too. Constant frustration , yelling and a lack of patience. There was no positive validation for my children. As you can guess Mckenna displayed her emotion through the actions I have discussed and Josh was more clingy. To make a long story short, upon my realization that this was happening I cried and couldn't believe it. That very next day our life changed. Dave would work at the house and I got to play with the kids. Each day he would work and I would play. Let me just say that I was amazed at how fast her anxieties went away. She stopped overeating and stopped hiding things. We are still working on the biting the fingernails but I think that may be an age thing too. Anyway, thanks to everyone for your support, love and concern.

5 comments:

DB said...

We're so glad that things are getting better for both you and Mckenna Moo. You share some good insight that I need to keep in mind with Cade. I think that he can pick up on our moods and wonder if he's been a better baby since we're more relaxed and comfortable with parenthood. We're so excited to visit this weekend!

Shanell said...

Lissa, Your a great mother, what a bummer to know that kids feed off your energy. My advice give josh to me for a few days!!! lol, or just be happy take time for yourself more to be happy and calm down. We love you all!

Holly said...

Its nice to see a real life blog. Sometimes I think people only show the great things in their family. I posted about nights in our house a while ago and felt like I got some nigative judgments over it. Oh well! I am real and not perfect, but I try my hardest. You are a great mom for seeing your children and their needs. One of the hardest thing sometimes is realizing how much our actions as mom effect our babes. I am so glad you found my blog. It's a great way to keep in touch. I know this is a long post, but I can't help it. Every October I think of you. I think this year we should bring back the past and do something together for our birthdays.
p.s. your family is adorable!

Shawn said...

i am glad to hear things are getting better. being with out kids i don't have to much room to give advice all i can say is something i read the other day about raising children. that is that we neede to enjoy the moments with our kids and not be so worried about the next thing we need to do that day. life is short enjoy the small moments i know some of my fondest memories of growing up are the little fun things we all did together like waking up early and smuggling chip in the house with all of us kids or playing dumb games on the trampolines with every one

Amy said...

glad to hear that things got better. Your kids are so great and are really lucky to have parents like they do!!